cartoon cow writing at a desk

Pain and Suffering (1.27.18)

The information contained in this article is for mature audiences. You have to figure out for yourself what that note of caution means. I was sexually abused by my father at age 8. I was a child. The topic and experience of sex was forced onto me against my will when I was in the 3rd grade. I didn’t have a choice as to whether or not I wanted to learn and discuss this foreign topic. My intention through this writing is to heal myself and to help others. These are the Nitty Gritty details of what sexual abuse looks and feels like. I’m not an expert. This is my experience.

I don’t remember every incident that occurred with my dad sexually abusing me. What I do remember when I was 8 years old is that he must have stuck his fingers inside of my vagina, because it always stung and burned. My dad was a large man and his fingers and hands were at least 4 times the size of mine. This “activity” happened more than once, because that is the largest memory that I have from the beginning of the abuse. Pain and suffering. There was absolutely no pleasure with this experience. All I felt was pain, burning, and what I now know to be a dry vagina saying, “NO!”