The information contained in this article is for mature audiences. You have to figure out for yourself what that note of caution means. I was sexually abused by my father at age 8. I was a child. The topic and experience of sex was forced onto me against my will when I was in the 3rd grade. I didn’t have a choice as to whether or not I wanted to learn and discuss this foreign topic. My intention through this writing is to heal myself and to help others. These are the Nitty Gritty details of what sexual abuse looks and feels like. I’m not an expert. This is my experience.
My dad is a highly intelligent man. He is also a very kind and compassionate man. He has good people skills. Where the hell this sick, demented, dark side of him resides is baffling to me.
When I was 8 years old and in the 3rd grade, my dad cleverly decided to use his penis as a puppet to get me to not be so scared and frightened of his large adult penis. I had never seen a penis before. I guess I had seen my brother Doug’s penis at some point, because we shared a bedroom when we were younger, but those images do not stand out in my brain. I just remember my dad using the opening of his penis where the urine and sperm comes out to make it talk to me like a puppet. He would use his fingers to make the urethra open and close to talk. I have no memory of what he said to me, but it was effective. He was trying to make me relax and become friends with his giant full grown man size penis. As a child at age 8, his penis looked like it was the size of 5-6 hotdogs bundled together for thickness. His adult size penis was huge and threatening to me and it got bigger when he got sexually aroused. My father’s relaxed adult penis was disturbing to me as an 8 year old child. And his erect adult penis was gross, freaky, and very threatening to me as an 8 year old child.